When I walk into the bookstore at the University of Arizona the first thing that catches my eye is the rather large section of clothing. The clothing section has everything to offer, T-shirts, sweatpants, tank-tops, sweatshirts, shorts, dresses, socks and even shoes, everything for both men and women. Many of the students on the campus come here to get their Arizona attire. I know I would get my shirts and sweaters here for the football games during the season. Along with clothes, I purchased pom-poms, hair clips and spray paint to have a lot of spirit for the games. This little stuff is scattered throughout the clothes to make students buy little non-needed things. Also a huge part of the clothing department is dedicated to athletics, a lot of the students buy their clothes here that they wear to the recreation center and/or sports practices. The clothes are not just geared towards students, there is a section for parents, grandparents and/or alumni to buy some new apparel. Last but not least, the bookstore offers dressing rooms to try the clothing on. If it doesn't fit, an employee will assist you in getting the right size. You really feel like you are in a mall shopping because of the service the bookstore offers. I think that having a clothing department inside of a bookstore is a great idea. Its easy, fast and affordable.
Peer Review Sheet – Assignment One: Visual/Spatial Analysis
ReplyDeletePeer Reviewer: Tori Writer: Kim
Read through the blog once so that you get a sense of the writer’s purpose and main ideas. Once you have read through the entire assignment once, answer the following questions directly on this sheet. Then save the peer review sheet to the desktop and post the document in a comment on the blog.
1) First, begin with the photos and critical captions. Which critical captions were most effective in helping you see and understand the space as the writer does and why?
It seems that the Clinique makeup counter seems to be the most exciting section in the bookstore for women.
2) Each critical caption should make a claim, support the claim with evidence/details from the text (photo or space), and analyze how the writer sees/understands those details so that the reader is invited to see/understand them in a similar way. How effectively does the writer make clear claims, support them with evidence, and elucidate her/his analysis? Does the analysis offer new knowledge, i.e. make an interesting claim supported with evidence? Explain.
The writer provides facts and personal examples about how she uses the bookstore and what you can find in the UA bookstore.
a. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer does this particularly well.
Providing the fact about 13% of the students at UA being in sororities and fraternities was good to include under the photo of the Greek section.
b. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer might build upon the claim/support/analysis paradigm.
Under the photo of the technology section it wouldn’t hurt to add that in that section of the bookstore you can also find our textbooks that we need to buy for classes.
3) As a result of this analysis, readers should begin to see a relationship between the photos taken of the space. What major themes/ideas define the relationship you see between these photos? If the relationship is unclear or undeveloped, what can the writer do to establish a clear relationship between the photos?
The relationship I see between all four photos is that they all contain items that you wouldn’t seen in a normal bookstore. It is odd to find make up and technology all in a small store. The bookstore is a one-stop shop for students at the UA
4) Comment upon the design of the blog. Is the blog’s visual design easy to read, professional in appearance, and in sync with the purpose? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the design?
The design of the blog is great! The order you put the photos in is different from your group members but I feel it works with the way you described them.
5) Consider the writer’s choice of words and the tone s/he uses in the blog. Do these choices seem appropriate for the target audience (English 102 students and instructors)? Are there any places in the text where the choices seem out of sync with the target audience?
The tone and word choice is also very good. The personal examples you used help the readers relate to you.
6) What are the greatest strengths of this draft? Try to identify 1-3 specific things the writer does well.
ReplyDeleteI think that you did a great job of using examples to support your claims. I also feel that you expressed the convenience that the UA bookstore offers.
7) List 2-4 specific suggestions you have for the writer as s/he moves forward in her/his revisions.
I would definitely talk about how the bookstore is where all students go and maybe stress how convenient it is especially for freshmen in your intro. You could also provide some more examples under the photo of the Greek section.
8) Re-read the introduction. Based on the introduction alone:
a. In your own words, what is the thesis or main idea of this visual/spatial analysis?
The main idea is to talk about the convenience the bookstore offers to UA students.
b. How effective is the introduction in capturing your attention? What suggestions do you have for improving upon the introduction?
There is no introduction.
c. If there isn’t an introduction, offer ways in which the author can begin the blog.
You could talk about when the bookstore is open and when the most people are usually there then talk about how convenient it is for freshmen or students who do not have cars.
9) Now, read the conclusion. What main ideas/points are you left with as a reader? How closely do these points relate to claims made earlier in the blog? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the conclusion? If there isn’t a conclusion, offer ways in which the author can begin a conclusion.
There is no conclusion. You talk about the items that can be found in each section so be sure to tie that all back together in the conclusion.
Peer Review Sheet – Assignment One: Visual/Spatial Analysis
ReplyDeletePeer Reviewer: Samantha Celaya Writer: Kim
Read through the blog once so that you get a sense of the writer’s purpose and main ideas. Once you have read through the entire assignment once, answer the following questions directly on this sheet. Then save the peer review sheet to the desktop and post the document in a comment on the blog.
1) First, begin with the photos and critical captions. Which critical captions were most effective in helping you see and understand the space as the writer does and why?
There aren’t any critical captions besides the ones such as (Clothing, Technology, Greek Life, and Clinique) I really enjoy the photos though I think they display all the sections of the Bookstore as well as its building structure.
2) Each critical caption should make a claim, support the claim with evidence/details from the text (photo or space), and analyze how the writer sees/understands those details so that the reader is invited to see/understand them in a similar way. How effectively does the writer make clear claims, support them with evidence, and elucidate her/his analysis? Does the analysis offer new knowledge, i.e. make an interesting claim supported with evidence? Explain.
You do a good job of making claims but make sure you back them up with evidence from the pictures and what they picture stands for as a whole and to the Bookstore.
a. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer does this particularly well.
In your make up section you give the claim that the bookstore appeals to women, then back it up with stating that there is a Clinique counter.
In the first section about the clothes, you give a lot of description about how the clothes represent the wildcat spirit and pride.
b. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer might build upon the claim/support/analysis paradigm.
In the second section of your blog maybe explain more into depth about technology and the school? What would the bookstore be like if we didn’t have the technology aspect? Why is the technology downstairs and not the clothing?
Elaborate more in the technology section. What does technology do for the college as a whole?
Add an intro, maybe facts about the Bookstore, when it was made? And what the main purpose of it is according to you? Is it different if you are a student, teacher, and visitor?
3) As a result of this analysis, readers should begin to see a relationship between the photos taken of the space. What major themes/ideas define the relationship you see between these photos? If the relationship is unclear or undeveloped, what can the writer do to establish a clear relationship between the photos?
I think that you need to make more of a relationship between each photo and how they relate to each other. Why does the Bookstore have each of these sections? Why are clothes upstairs and technology downstairs? Is it a central part of the UA?how/why?
4) Comment upon the design of the blog. Is the blog’s visual design easy to read, professional in appearance, and in sync with the purpose? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the design?
The text is clear, easy to read. I like how you have the wrap around text..it makes it easy to see the picture at all times..you don’t have to keep scrolling up to see what you are taking about in the text
5) Consider the writer’s choice of words and the tone s/he uses in the blog. Do these choices seem appropriate for the target audience (English 102 students and instructors)? Are there any places in the text where the choices seem out of sync with the target audience?
You had good word choice, and used very good descriptive words that were easy to see in the pictures.
ReplyDelete6) What are the greatest strengths of this draft? Try to identify 1-3 specific things the writer does well.
I believe that the greatest strengths’ of this paper are the descriptions of the photos, your word choice, and the pictures as well.
7) List 2-4 specific suggestions you have for the writer as s/he moves forward in her/his revisions.
Try to expand more on your section of Greek Life and Technology…how do these aspects of the bookstore affect the daily lives of students on campus?
In the make-up section what does it do for the Bookstore when they relate to gender? How do they relate to men?
8) Re-read the introduction. Based on the introduction alone:
a. In your own words, what is the thesis or main idea of this visual/spatial analysis?
b. How effective is the introduction in capturing your attention? What suggestions do you have for improving upon the introduction?
c. If there isn’t an introduction, offer ways in which the author can begin the blog.
You didn’t have a an introduction but I would maybe try introducing the Bookstore with facts. Maybe like when it opened? Who had the idea of the Bookstore? Has it ever been re-modeled?
9) Now, read the conclusion. What main ideas/points are you left with as a reader? How closely do these points relate to claims made earlier in the blog? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the conclusion? If there isn’t a conclusion, offer ways in which the author can begin a conclusion.
You don’t have a conclusion, but you could possibly state a claim from each photo and relate it back to your theme of all your photo’s.
Peer Review Sheet – Assignment One: Visual/Spatial Analysis
ReplyDeletePeer Reviewer: Lexi Writer: Kim
Read through the blog once so that you get a sense of the writer’s purpose and main ideas. Once you have read through the entire assignment once, answer the following questions directly on this sheet. Then save the peer review sheet to the desktop and post the document in a comment on the blog.
1) First, begin with the photos and critical captions. Which critical captions were most effective in helping you see and understand the space as the writer does and why?
The introductory caption that talks about the clothing featured in the bookstore and the caption about the technology section of the bookstore. They were most effective because they were both very descriptive, kept my interest and in the caption about technology she includes her own personal experience to it.
2) Each critical caption should make a claim, support the claim with evidence/details from the text (photo or space), and analyze how the writer sees/understands those details so that the reader is invited to see/understand them in a similar way. How effectively does the writer make clear claims, support them with evidence, and elucidate her/his analysis? Does the analysis offer new knowledge, i.e. make an interesting claim supported with evidence? Explain.
I think that she all of her claims are clear and interesting but definitely some more supporting evidence could be added. I would add more to the captions about Clinique and Greek life. These two captions seem relatively short compared to the other captions and could use some more evidence/support.
a. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer does this particularly well.
I like how you explained what each section has to offer. I also like how you talked about how it’s hard for students without a car to get to Best Buy and stores that sells makeup and its convenient just to get it at the bookstore, I thought that strengthened your captions.
b. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer might build upon the claim/support/analysis paradigm.
I would add an introduction right before you talk about the clothing in the bookstore by introducing all of the various things the bookstore has to offer.
3) As a result of this analysis, readers should begin to see a relationship between the photos taken of the space. What major themes/ideas define the relationship you see between these photos? If the relationship is unclear or undeveloped, what can the writer do to establish a clear relationship between the photos?
Some themes/ideas that define the relationship I see between these photos is that the bookstore puts these various things in their store to bring people in to the store and she talks about that a lot in her captions. I would say that the relationship is clear and she does not need to establish a clearer relationship between the photos.
4) Comment upon the design of the blog. Is the blog’s visual design easy to read, professional in appearance, and in sync with the purpose? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the design?
The visual design of the blog is easy to read, professional in appearance and is in sync with the purpose. One thing I would add is titles to each of the pictures.
5) Consider the writer’s choice of words and the tone s/he uses in the blog. Do these choices seem appropriate for the target audience (English 102 students and instructors)? Are there any places in the text where the choices seem out of sync with the target audience?
I think that her use of words and tone in the blog are appropriate for the target audience. I didn’t read any areas in the text that were out of sync with the target audience.
6) What are the greatest strengths of this draft? Try to identify 1-3 specific things the writer does well.
ReplyDeleteSome strengths of this draft I would say are how you added your own personal experience to some of the captions. I also like the descriptions and the slogan you made in the caption about Clinique, the “one-stop shop.”
7) List 2-4 specific suggestions you have for the writer as s/he moves forward in her/his revisions.
Revise spelling/punctual errors I noticed a few as I read through your captions. In the caption you wrote about Greek like just make sure you capitalize all the g’s when you say Greek and fix the word “there” to “their” when you talk about how you talk about how many girls have their sorority written on their backpacks.
8) Re-read the introduction. Based on the introduction alone:
a. In your own words, what is the thesis or main idea of this visual/spatial analysis?
b. How effective is the introduction in capturing your attention? What suggestions do you have for improving upon the introduction?
c. If there isn’t an introduction, offer ways in which the author can begin the blog.
Like I said earlier, I think you should begin your introduction by just giving some information about the bookstore and all of the things it has to offer besides books and the various marketing techniques they use in order to get more customers.
Now, read the conclusion. What main ideas/points are you left with as a reader? How closely do these points relate to claims made earlier in the blog? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the conclusion? If there isn’t a conclusion, offer ways in which the author can begin a conclusion.
I would begin your conclusion by summing up what you stated in the previous captions and adding a concluding sentence at the very end that ties all of the captions together.